The Devil?

Another one down, a whole bunch more to go! I had my last day of ortho today (I've decided I can go with the abbreviation now), and went out with a bang by spending the entire day in clinic, without setting foot in the OR once (lame...). And apparently, I just so happened to be the guy that got to see all of the people that were sent to this particular surgeon's clinic by an office mistake or by someone who didn't know what they were doing, or best of all: a prison infirmary. And I found out that these people are mad when the attending doctor doesn't see them. Well, except the prisoners, who are just happy to not be in prison for a little while. So, it was a wonderful day... I came home just absolutely thrilled to be in medicine, and wishing I could go back and do today all over again. Like in the movie Groundhog Day, except, I wouldn't change anything!

Well, enough sarcasm. I think communication would have saved quite a bit of anger and frustration for all involved. But it didn't happen. Oh well. With all these referrals to different doctors for different treatments, it's no wonder that everyone's frustrated. Some even wish for a simpler time when you could go to one doctor and get treated for just about anything that you had wrong with you, sans referrals to specialists. Including the Devil:

"And then what a way they have of sending people to specialists! 'We only diagnose,' they say, 'but go to such-and-such a specialist, he'll cure you.' The old doctor who used to cure all sorts of disease has completely disappeared, I assure you, now there are only specialists and they all advertise in the newspapers. If anything is wrong with your nose, they send you to Paris: there, they say, is a European specialist who cures noses. If you go to Paris, he'll look at your nose; I can only cure your right nostril, he'll tell you, for I don't cure the left nostril, that's not my speciality, but go to Vienna, there there's a specialist who will cure your left nostril. What are you to do?"

Of course that's from centuries ago, and the medicine we do now is more effective. But the frustration's still there at times, and I guess I found out today that it's pretty unpleasant to be on the "other" side of the equation as the one that says, "I don't cure the left nostril".

Snap, Crackle, Pop!

Well, over the past couple of weeks, I've become something of an "expert" in the arts of holding tissue retractors in surgery, cutting sutures, moving patients from the operating table to beds, and trying not to make a fool out of myself.

And now, a couple of thoughts about life, after having spent a few weeks on the orthopaedic service:

• People shouldn't shoot each other so much
• People are crazy. Not the "haha, its funny, you're crazy" kind of crazy--I mean actual mental disease
• Sticks and stones can break your bones, but so can falls, osteoporosis, gunshot wounds, semi-trucks, motorcycles, tumors, zip-lines, etc.
• When you move someone's leg around when they have a broken femur, it feels crunchy
• There kind of is a femur ward
  

It's been pretty good for the most part, I've been spending most of my time in the hospital (which is OK, I guess), and not doing a whole lot else. Although I did go to the state fair last friday night, where I saw a whole bunch of people eating things like "chocolate covered bacon" and "deep fried pizza". I tried neither of these, but I do think my cholesterol level about doubled just looking at them.

In other news, this past weekend I got hired as a "medical student extern" at the emergency department at one of the hospitals on the north side of town. So, I'll actually be working, and making actual money! Although, not a ton of it, and I won't really be working all that often. And I won't even be starting until September at least. But at any rate, I think it will be a good experience, since the job is basically just seeing patients and treating them for whatever they have wrong with them (under an ER doc's supervision, of course).
So, that's about it... I'm still on the orthopaedic surgery service until Friday, and after that, I have 2 weeks of anesthesia. So, I've got a busy couple of days ahead of me, and then I get a couple of weeks that are reportedly pretty laid back. Like, come in at 7 and leave by noon kind of laid back. Can't wait!

The Recession and My Favorite Cranial Nerve

I think everyone's aware that we're having a bit of an economic recession. And what better to do in a recession than look for work until you give up, then wander around aimlessly looking for something to do?

Enter the cranial nerves. The Vagus Nerve, to be specific. And to be redundant, Cranial Nerve X. It's known to Anatomist-Ornithologists the world over as one of the "Four Birds of the Mediastinum"!

Why the Vagus Nerve? Well, ever hear of a vagabond? How about a vagrant? Well, the Vagus Nerve is called that because it "wanders" all the way from the head (the brain, actually) to the lungs, the stomach, and the intestines (among other places), just like a vagabond wanders from place to place.

Anyway, whenever you're concerned about the "global economic downturn", instead of worrying about having all your "ducks in a row", just remember the Vagus Nerve, and then go hitchiking.

Nicotene

Short observation... walking down the street by the medical "complex" today, I noticed all these people standing outside smoking... No big surprise, people always stand outside of hospitals and smoke, right? But I was surprised and amused to see one guy had multiple cigarettes in his mouth all at one time.

In other news, the Barackalypse is upon us in the health-care world... just a suggestion: to cut health-care costs, maybe we should do better at getting people to quit smoking? Maybe not encourage tobacco growers? Do away with fast food?

Maybe people would see that as the man telling them what to do though.

Is it Friday already!?! Not only did this week go pretty fast, but I've got to say that I've completed the clinical part of my OB/GYN clerkship, and I can't believe its already over! That was fast. You might be wondering how I have time to write this on a Friday afternoon, being that that's a typical workday. Well, I was on call all last night, so I've got today off.

Anyways, all I've got now is a couple of tests, and an "Observed Structured Clinical Exam", and then I'll be moving on to Anesthesia/Orthopaedic Orthopedic Surgery for a few weeks.

In other news, I finally got my score back from Step 1! Now, my roommate and I found out that we were going to be getting our scores this past Wednesday. Naturally, there was a little bit of apprehension about how we had done, and we weren't sure whether this was going to be something to celebrate, or something to try to forget about. Not that it actually happened (partly because we're lazy, and partly because we're cheap, and partly because we're not alcoholics), but we had discussed waiting until that evening to check our scores online, and when doing so having ready at hand both a bottle of champagne and a bottle of whiskey, to drink accordingly and either celebrate or drown our sorrows...

At any rate, I think I had some Diet Coke or something, and spent the rest of the evening studying. But I did pass, which made me happy. So, thus far, I haven't done anything that will prevent me from getting my medical license. (Have I mentioned that that's sort of important to me?)

Just a few thoughts in closing... I haven't seen the new Harry Potter movie, but I haven't seen any of them. I heard it was like Twilight... I also haven't seen the new show called HawthoRNe, but I'm hoping that it's sort of the nurse version of House.

I'm just going to go with a little laundry list of what I've been up to recently (no Pulitzer prize for Matt--but I'm willing to accept that). Here we go!

Delivery! I finally did my first delivery, where I actually, physically caught the baby! I wouldn't say I've "found my calling" in OB/GYN, but I will say that was one of the most satisfying things I've done since starting med school.

24 hour call! In this context (OB/GYN) it means staying at the hospital for 24 hours waiting for pregnant women to come in for whatever reason. So, um, yeah, its not a ton of fun. But I guess it comes with the territory. That, and I feel like Jack Bauer.

I have to get up at ungodly hours of the morning... Not exactly my cup o' tea. But at least this means I have NO trouble falling asleep at night. Or the afternoon. Or mid-morning. Or exactly noon.

I've been regreting my lack of foreign-language skills, particularly spanish. Enough said. But I have learned a lot about using translators. Did you know that when you are talking to someone with a translator, you're not supposed to look at the translator at all?

I guess that's about all. I've got less than a week left of this clerkship, and then I move on to Anesthesia/Surgical subspecialty. I would tell you what surgical subspecialty, but I don't know yet. I did preference Orthopedics though.

FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!

I seriously considered making the words to "My Country 'Tis of Thee" the entirety of this post. But it seems that I may be a little late for that this year. Of course, there's always next year, or the year after, or the year after that, but not the year after that. 

On the bright side though, I've had a really great weekend, mostly filled with me catching up on sleep (although I've heard that's not actually possible, I'm willing to try anyway!), pretending to study, spending hours and hours watching tennis (a sport that I do not fully comprehend) with my roommate, and holding back the tears when I heard that the 4th of July fireworks were canceled due to rain.

Anyway, in case anyone's wondering, at press time, this OB/GYN clerkship has yet to convince Matt to be an obstetrician or a gynecologist.